Updated: Jan 23, 2021
Seriously. For the love of all that is good and true…Just don’t. I’ve made so many friends and met so many women who trust me enough to tell me about their relationship problems and ask for my advice (which is an absolute blessing by the way). And when some of them tell me about all the ridiculous stuff their SO’s put them through they always use something about the military to justify these actions.
“Oh, but he’s probably really busy. That’s why he hasn’t texted back in three days.”
“Well, the military trains them to be heartless and not show emotion.”
“I caught him cheating once but I know he was really stressed out that week from all his tests and he got really drunk to let off some steam so it’s fine, right?”
What the hell? No! Absolutely, positively not. No.
It’s one thing if your SO is deployed and has no access to a phone or computer for three days. And yes, I believe they are trained to not cry and to be “tough” and, yes, they are really stressed and overworked. But these ARE NOT EXCUSES for serious offenses.
You should value yourself and your time enough to see that. We all know that the military comes first. When duty calls, they have to answer it. But your relationship should be right up there and sometimes, worst-case scenario, second to the military.
But not last. Not sometimes high on the priority list. Always right up there. And when it is you will know it. They will text back. There will be no worrying about who they are with or what they are doing. They will send emails and buy you birthday presents and spend time with you. There will be no need to justify any of their actions other than with the simple fact that they love you.
So, please. If the time ever arises that your SO does something horrendous and you find yourself using the military to make an excuse for them, stop yourself. Ask yourself if that is truly, the honest-to-god reason. If your gut tells you no…
And if there is ever a time where you are not sure or are lost and need help, feel free to send a message. I am always willing to listen or give honest advice. No BS. No judgment. Just an honest friend.